Shrunken Ears and Magnified Rumors
by Dear Aunt Elladora
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks, Bill Weasley, and Kingsley Shackbolt in their sixth year. The day of a dance entails many things - homework plans cancelled, the apperance of Barbie and Skipper equals, pretty girls, rose bushes and shrunken ears. Random? Not after this


"_Merlin_, Weasley, I have no idea what I'm going to do," Kingsley Shackbolt sighed, sliding into the seat opposite Bill at the Gryffindor table.

"Kings, how many times to I have to say this, _it's just a **dance,**_" Bill responded, not looking up from the letter in his hand.

"Still that penfriend from Brazil?" Kingsley said, sighting the letter.

"Yes. She's asking my if I can go visit her. Oh, Mum 'n Dad won't even _consider_ it. I'm trying to figure out how to tell her I can't."

"Can we focus on my problem here, first? _Just a dance_? Gorgeous girls are going to be there, Bill. But _everyone_ already has a date. I'm going to look like the biggest _loser_ if I go stag."

"No, you won't," Bill sighed, folding up the letter and placing it in his breast pocket, smirking. "Besides, _Nymphadora_ doesn't have a date."

"Ugh! Ask _Tonks_?"

"Ask me what?" At that moment, the Nymphadora Tonks herself had appeared at the table. She looked the same she did everyday, a mass of brown curls messily pulled back at the crown of her head and sleep in her eyes. She sat beside Bill and poured herself some steaming tea.

"To jump off a cliff." Kingsley drawled out, taking the tea pitcher from her hands and pouring himself a glass.

"That's a relief. Now I thought you were going to do something stupid like ask me to the ball." She said, spooning some sugar into her glass and while her eyes were averted, Kingsley gaped at her while Bill snickered under his breath.

The day lasted like normal, it was a boring Spring Saturday which entailed walking around the lake for the three best friends -- until a tumultous rainfall stranded them in the common room with five hours til the dance.

Bill sat on the couch with the two when an owl pecked on the window. He went to recieve the letter the exotic was carrying and brought it back to the table.

"Oh, she's not happy." Bill clucked his tongue against his teeth as Tonks shot him a confused look.

"The penpal, she asked him if he could come visit and he told her no." Kingsley answered the question on the tip of her tongue and she nodded in response.

"But she did send me a cool hat. I guess I'll wear it tonight." Bill beemed happily, setting the letter and the hat on the coffee table. "So, what are your plans tonight, Tonks?"

"Well, I think I'm going to stay up in the library, get some lingering projects out of the way. It'll be empty with that stupid dance going on."

"What? You're not going?!" Bill said in igdination, turning to face his friend.

"Cos I'm _sure _suitors were just knocking down your door," Kingsley said sarcastically, recieving the evil eye from Tonks.

"I turned a couple boys down, thank you, Kings. Not like you have a date. I dunno, just couldn't find some dress robes to _like_, match my nail polish," she said, sarcasm lacing her words as she poked fun at the rather shallow members of their 6th year class.

"Well, neither Kingsley nor I have dates. You could come with us, you _are_ a girl and all. Make us look better." Bill said, giving her a cheeky Weasley grin.

"Kings is more of a girl than I am!" She exclaimed, recieving a taken aback noice from Kingsley, "Take him! You'd be a right cute couple."

"Oh, Nympha_dora_!" A rather high pitched voice came from behind Tonks, causing her to roll her eyes and grit her teeth (simeoutaneously, this was quite a feat) before turning to face the two blonds.

"Yes, Ashley?" She said in a sickly sweet manner.

"Well, Joanie and I couldn't help but overhearing," the blond kept on, smiling brightly.

"Yeah, I'll bet," Tonks muttered under her breath.

"That you didn't have proper nail polish for the ball," the blond continued as if Tonks had said nothing, "And, well, we have plenty. Plus we were thinking -- when was the last time you got dolled up?"

"Uh, let me think. Never?" Tonks said casually.

"Well, we think its far due time we, um, help_ed_ you a bit in the make-up area. We've got around three hours, far enough time to teach you some tricks of the trade. Come on now, up to the dorm with you." She reached over the couch and placed her lotioned hands on Tonk's shoulders, pushing her up off the couch.

"Girls, that's nice and all. But, home--"

"Go!" Bill shouted to the blonds' elation as they giddily giggled, leading Tonks up the stairs.

"I heard that Ravenclaw doll, James Pritchett, totally has the hots for you." Joanie giggled as she drug Tonks up the stairs before they dissapeared into their dorm.

Bill fell into deep laughter after the girls left and Kingsley sported a wide grin.

"How'd you think they'll make her up?" Bill said finally, looking at Kingsley, who shrugged his shoulders in return.

"James Pritchett fancies her? He better not lay a hand on her." Kingsley said, quite angered.

Bill raised his eybrows in shock, expecting Kingsley to exclaim his good-natured 'just kidding!'

Instead, Kingsley looked at him oddly, saying "What? He's a creep."

The boys managed a couple games of chess before eventually heading up to their dorm and getting ready with 15 minutes to spare before the ball. They headed down to the already-crowded Great Hall and found seats and the tables that were up against the wall. After a fine dinner, the boys found some friends and danced a couple of songs.

"Oh. My. _Merlin_." Kingsley said to Bill as they were taking a respite from dancing at the punchbowl.

"What?" Bill said, "Is there something on my face?"

"You are such a _girl_, Weasley. No, who is that fine thing dancing with that Ravenclaw character? There's no way she goes here. I'd remember someone that looked like -- well, that looked like _that_."

Bill followed Kingsley gaze to notice a pretty girl with long, wavy golden-brown hair. Her eyes were bright blue and her pouty lips covered in red lipstick, making her rows of perfect teeth look white when she smiled her wide smile. Her eyes were lined on the top so that the make-up wasn't too heavy, just enough to accentuate her looks.

"Looks like you'll get a chance to ask her, mate. She's headed this way." Bill said, smiling to himself, because, in fact, the girl was walking straight towards them -- and giving them very odd looks.

"Finally I found you guys. I can't _believe_ you sold me over to Barbie and Skipper!"

Kingsley spit his drink back into his glass as he and Bill looked at each other, realizing exactly who this girl was. "Tonks?!" They said.

"Oh, that's attractive, Kings."

"Oh, yeah, it's Tonks." Bill said with a laugh.

"Who are Barbie and Skipper?" Kingsley questioned, his mouth still slightly agape as he looked Tonks up and down once more.

"Nevermind," Tonks said, rolling her eyes, "Weasley, you wanna dance?" She said, extending a hand which Bill took.

"Of course, m'lady."

They went and danced a couple songs as Kingsley got comfortable with one of his exgirlfriends. Eventually Bill and Tonks split to new partners, but then Bill grabbed her hand and took her off the dance floor.

"Oi, I want to try on the hat!" He said, pulling it from his robes and placing it on his head. Almost automatically, however, he clamped his hands down on his ears, hissing how they burned. When Tonks managed to pry off his hands, she noticed his ears were shrinking fast down to stubs and the hat would not remove itself from Bill's head.

"Oh, Bill, I'll run get Kingsley! See if he knows what to do!" With a fleeting glance at her grimacing friend, Tonks set out for the rose bushes in the adjoining lawn.

"Kingsley! Shakebolt! Kings!" she exclaimed, and soon rustling was heard as he crawled out of the bush, a Hufflepuff clinging to him.

"Yes, Satan? We were having a nice snog! What do you want?"

"Oi," Tonks said, turning on the girl, "Mills! Clear off! He's mine, we just had a bit of a spat, that's all!"

Kingsley recieved a slap from the girl as she trudged off angrily, and he turned on Tonks to say, "What the _hell_?"

"He'd die if anyone heard!" She said, dragging him into the nearest bush then beginning again, "It's his ears! That bloody hat from the Brazilian's got them all shrunk!"

"Kingsley! I found you! Oh. My. Merlin -- Tonks? What in the world?!" Bill exclaimed, finding them.

- - -

The next morning, Hamilton slid into the seat across from Bill much like the day before, but Tonks was already sitting beside him. Her hair was in a high bun much like it always was and she wore no makeup.

"Remind me to never, ever go to a dance," he groaned, "For some odd reason, due to Tonks's little _outburst_ last night, Mills seems to think we're dating. And she's told _every_one." He said, buttering himself a slice of toast.

"Remind me of that once more and I swear, I'll rip out your jugular with my fork." She groaned, pointing the supposed weapon at Kingsley.

"Well, forget breakfast," he winced, placing the buttered toast on his place and pushing it aside in disgust.

"I dunno," said Bill with a Weasley grin, "You two did look _awfully_ close last night in that rose bush."

"Oh my Merlin! Bill! Your ears!" Tonks shouted, recieving a yelp from Bill, who covered them with his hands before realizing there was nothing wrong. He glared at Tonks, who slapped palms with Kingsley in response as they burst out laughing.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I _love_ QuickEdit. It's my hero. Uh - random fic, I know, but I'm just full of them lately. I have I deep thing for the background characters. This originally was Pacey and Joey from Dawson's Creek (with the virgin line) then tagged onto some new characters Adelle Longbottom (of Neville and Luna, wink) and Hamilton Finnagin (of Seamus and Parvati). But I figured 'next generation' won't get attention so I focused in on everyone's favorite Metamorphagus and Kingsley.

I may have the ages wrong (eep), perhaps Tonks was at Hogwarts with a different Weasley. I dunno, for the sake of the story can you let it be Bill? The hat / ears thing is from Goblet of Fire where Ron tells Harry there are other wizarding schools.

**_Review!_**


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